Back on the track

For a few hours of staying here in manila, I gained a lot of new ideas and a new perspective. Keep on moving, never stop until I reach my goal!

Thanks to that butterfly I now know what to do. Thanks to my friends in Grand Chase for your help.

Infatuation or Love?

There are some feelings we have when infatuated that we don’t have when we’re feeling love. Some of the “symptoms” of infatuation are; feelings of panic, uncertainty, overpowering lust, feverish excitement, impatience, and/or jealously.

When infatuated, we are thrilled, but not happy, wanting to trust, yet suspicious. There are lingering, nagging doubts about our “partner in infatuation” and their love for us. We’re miserable when they’re away, almost like we’re not complete unless we’re with them. It’s a rush and it’s intense. It’s difficult to concentrate. And most infatuation relationships have a high degree of sexual charge around them. Somehow being with them is not complete unless in ends in some type of sexual encounter.

Do any of these “symptoms” resemble feelings of love? Hardly. So why do we become infatuated? Where does it come from? Perhaps it’s biological.

When infatuated we experience a surge of dopamine that rushes through the brain causing us to feel good. Norepinephrine flows through the brain stimulating production of adrenaline (pounding heart). Phenylethalimine (found in chocolate) creates a feeling of bliss. Irrational romantic sentiments may be caused by oxytocin, a primary sexual arousal hormone that signals orgasm and feelings of emotional attachment. Together these chemicals sometimes override the brain activity that governs logic.

The body can build up tolerances to these chemicals so it takes more of the substance to get that special feeling of infatuation. People who jump from relationship to relationship may be craving the intoxicating effects of these substances and may be “infatuation junkies”.

When the chemical flood dries up, the relationship either moves into a loving romantic one or there is disillusionment, and the relationship ends.

from: http://www.selfcreation.com/love/infatuation.htm

Talk about blessing

Didn't expect that to happen.

I need to change myself.

I need a new Pitchy.

I need to renew my personality.

BEGIN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I NEED REST!

My head aches a lot yesterday and even today. What a lousy day it is today. There are a lot of things to do. And there is one thing on my mind that is heliocentric can't stop thinking about it no matter how hard I try. Darn it I barely had sleep last night I hate insomnia moments. I'm still sleep. Well although I haven't had much sleep I still manage to smile and laugh a while ago 'cause my classmates are doing a lot of hilarious things.

I also hate this K9 thingy. I need to send my reply to Nikki and boy is she going to be mad if I don't. SORRY NEKKE.. :3

Just as planned

Everything is turning out the way I planned it. Although because of such actions the balance of things were tampered yesterday. Now I forgot to make a back up plan it's a good thing I made one fast. I'm still observing their reactions. hahaha I didn't know that psychology could be this fun. I wonder what are their reactions a bout the letter am so excited hahaha...

3 DAYS OF REFORMATION

I need three days of reformation. Because I lost myself and I want it back. Last night didn't have any sleep(literally). In order to do so I need silence but I'm having a lot of problem keeping silence.
What should I do? I still don't know yet but I'm working on it. I won't be talking to a lot of people for three days. Well fair enough.

Feels like it

Feels like love?

I don't know the feeling I kept on thinking about just went out in my previous post. Yup i fell in love with someone that is unexpected. Now I'm so confuse. What should I do then? What will be it's effects on me. Just thinking of that person makes me crazy. ARGHHHH!

Feels like music!

Excited for tomorrow 'cause am going to re-study violin. I really love the violin. I don't care if I'm unskilled at it. I want to play the violin because I love it! One of my wishes in life is for someone I love play a love song on the violin for me and in front of me. O how I wish :)

Sorry S*****-chan

Sorry for making you fall in love. that was not my intension. And i have no feelings for you. You're a good friend of mine. You're a wonderful girl but I'm not worthy. My heart belongs to someone unexpected. I hope you find in your heart to forgive me. We had good times at the computer shop I hope those days will return. You're beautiful find a guy that's worth your time.

Freaking Friday

"There are two kinds of memories, the memories of the heart and the memories of the body, when the heart forgets the body remembers"

The dream has finally ended. It's time to fulfill the wish. I will pay my memories of that person for me to excel in my academics. Although I know that I might suffer a lot of memory lost because of it. I will still do it. Because I have no other choice.

Unexpected Compensation

An unexpected compensation was given to me last night. It was something that shocked me. The wish was within my capabilities to grant. It made me happy and wonder. But the compensation made me thing a lot and I slept late just thinking about it. I now have the compensation that I need. With the compensation in mind, it made things easier for me to handle. All I can say is that I'm starting to grow again in knowledge.

"To change your self, is to change your future". This quote popped out of my mind last night. I laughed at myself because I forgot all about this quote. And the question "Can changing the future that was already in place be ever forgiven?". It's true that it is hard to change something that is destined good or bad. But change is inevitable if you try to change yourself, your future may change and you might avoid the things that you fear most. In doing this you must keep a calm mind for you to succeed.

Up and Down

I've been experiencing a lot of mood swings. I'm afraid that the medical result will turn out bad. I still want to do a lot of things. I don't want things to end early. I still need to fulfill my wish. Lately I've been thinking of a lot of things so I barely talk with other people when I'm alone. I've been shunning conversations because I want to have a quiet time to think and to reflect. I'm confuse right now. For now the only one who knows my problem is Biboy. I've been asking him on what to do. Within two weeks I will know the result of the medical test. I pray that it's not so serious. I hope that all the theories of the doctors are not true. Because of these things I been wearing a mask. A mask that shows that I'm happy but inside I'm not. It's hard to pretend that I'm happy because I'm not the person who likes to pretend. I don't like to hide my emotions I want to be always transparent.

"Make the best out of your life"

New Guild

I left Exempt because I joined BloodChase because of the request of my couple Yoruh...hmmm does that make me the lord of BC? (lolz) because Yoruh is the mistress. I laugh just thingking about it. hahaha. anyway I hope no one in Exempt will be angry for my Unexpected decision.

LUV STURY haha :3

LUV STURY
(Exempt Version)

Matsu was young at si Syntax Phedo!
Ven close your eyes
And the buffer starts
And Sena’s there
Tumakbo ka na to your father

Si Cyn nag lights
Nasa party naka gown
I see you make your way to the crowd
And say hello, si iko nag eye mo

That you were Senakun you were eating pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
And Cyn was crying on the staircase
Begging Sena please don’t go, and Cyn said

Sena could you take me somewhere we can be alone
I’ll be waiting all there is to do is run
Sena’s te prince and Cyn was his princess
It’s a Horror Stury Sena just say yes!

So I sneaked out to the garden to feed you
We keep quiet ‘cause we’re dead if they new
So close your eyes
Escape this thread for a little while

‘Kasi Romeo, nangulit sa letter
And Matsuhika said take away Juliet
But Sena’s crying to Cyn
Cyn was begging Sena please don’t go, and Cyn said

Sena could you take me somewhere we can be alone
We’ll be laughing all there’s left to do is run
It’s a Horror Stury Sena just say yes!

Sena please save Cyn, they try to tell me how to feel
Si Cham salisi gang, but it’s real
Don’t be afraid, Ronger made it out this mess
It’s Sena’s Luv Stury Cyn just say yes

Oh oh

Si cham ay pa simple
Kapatid ni veric ang tinarget nya
3am sa chat room
When she met you on the outskirts of town, walang hiya!

Si cham pasimple bakit kapatid ko pa
Dun sa YM ay nilalandi mo pa
Is this in my head? I don’t know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring

And said, Marry me Yen Yen(my sisters nickname)
You never have to be alone
Gigil ako and that’s all I really know
I talked to your father, go pick out a white dress
It’s a luv stury yen could you say yes!

Oh oh oh oh
Pati kapatid ko pinagtripan mo

New Start

I'm getting better in handling Seighart. I sure hope I can increase the level of the Ice Necklace.

I went out to meet some of my old friends and they're still the same as ever. :)

I'm so energetic today. And I eat a lot(wew there goes the diet).

Tomorrow I will be going back to the Seminary to fix the things that needs to be fixed. thank you La Corda d' oro secondo passo I learned a lot again. :3

THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING :)

Recovering

Finally I'm recovering fast. I just need a bit of rest that's all.

I won't give up. I may have lost it back then I won't let it happen again.

Not Much

After last night it had me thinking a lot even up to now. Asking myself what could be the reason for such actions. I can't think of any grave reason for that action.

Still sick my head hurt when ever I stand up or go somewhere. I need to recover fast.

The dream has ended. Everything that I foresaw has come. There's no stopping it for it was already destined. All that I can do now is just watch and observe.

CRYING

crying so hard. because I can't believe what I found out. So much pain in my heart and it's breaking me. Is there still hope? I don't know what to do. I'm lost. For the second time I lost it :(

SICK PITCHYKUN

I am sick again. I went back home to have my check up. I hope I could go back soon to the seminary.